i think the problem with twitter is that i’ve come so concerned with what other people are doing. i realized yesterday that getting on my twitter app was one of the first things i did to start my day, but why? it serves me nothing. realizing there’s a lot that doesn’t serve me any good. so i’m just trying to break bad habits. trying to go forward. back to the basics. so i’m taking a break, for a while. i think it’ll be good. i’m aiming for six weeks. we’ll see.
i guess i haven’t lived up to expectations.
our situations are minuscule in the length of our lives. kinda like waves and the ocean. or maybe they are completely opposite. maybe this life is so short itself that we have to make big deals out of small things. i don’t feel that way though. maybe we are living aimlessly and sometimes we bump into each other for no reason at all. but i know most of the time that if there is one, the reason is good. we don’t always get the answers we want, but that’s okay because we’ll forget about it soon. we ourselves have the power to give power to what powers us. whether that power be good or bad. i hope that made sense. the more you focus on something, the bigger that something will get. i’m almost sure that’s not scientific. but in our lives it’s 98.4% true. i wish you happiness and peace.
oh and i feel peace has lost it’s meaning. peace. go on with no troubles in mind. peace.
you shouldn’t miss the people you left.
Death is a scary thing. With no doubt. It’s starting to consume my life- the after life. What is it? What am I? Who am I? Am I anything? Do I feel anything? Am I going to know that I am who I am, and am I going to remember my loved ones? I just feel so helpless about this matter, I feel so little…
I just don’t get it. Because the world goes on. There’s a death everyday, and someone who people cared about is no longer on this earth.. What happens to them? How could someone be here, and then not. I don’t know where I’m going with this. The unknown is difficult to comprehend.
i don’t give a fuck about your two cents. i’m tired of people. always gotta say some shit. always gotta scrutinize and belittle for no reason. it’s annoying. what’s the point. what do you gain. you don’t know me.
maybe i’m just bitter. but it’s making me better.
Like every new year, I like to write about my year. I’ve had a pretty decent year, every year has been a learning experience. But that’s normal, when you’re young, every year should be one. I haven’t just learned more about myself, but the world around me. About people, about life, about the universe.
This year’s has been so long, and it’s really been the first time that I’ve started to make decisions for myself now. I went to New York, to find out if it’s the place for me. I think it is. I’m not there yet, but maybe one day. I graduated, finally. My mom left home, and the state, to go out and work. Blessed man. I’m blessed with a great family. Not ever perfect, but I’m doing what I can to keep us together. God’s always testing though. And if it’s in His Will, maybe this will be the year mom will be healthy. I think we are getting there though.
I started my first semester of college, and kicked it’s ass. 3.92 GPA. I gotta keep it up though. Gotta stay focused, but I know it’s nothing. I cleared my distractions, I finally have focused on myself. I don’t know where I’m headed, except for forward. I’m looking around and I’m seeing that my patience is paying off. That’s all it is, I’ve learned: patience. Not just for school, but life. You can do it all, but you can’t rush it. You gotta be patient.
Not too worried about a relationship. I’ve had my share of attempts. I’ve just been better off alone. Either bad timing, or uninterest, or not enough effort. But I’m not trippin’. Just waiting for someone who actually wants me.
It’s been a good year, 2012. I’m content with life. I’ve had a lot more ups than downs, and I can only hope that 2013 is just as good. I hope everyone has a great year. And that you realize to take the year one day at a time.
It does not make any sense in any world that I live in that I should miss you when you are really so insignificant in my life, but when I saw you I didn’t know what I should do. I didn’t recognize you and it didn’t make sense it my head for about two seconds. I don’t know why you are so stupid and why I can’t just get a chance, or why you are just not willing to do something different. I know you want to, but you just don’t want to let yourself. I could be good for you if you let me. I’ve been telling myself that for the past 4 years… I think that’s why. Because I know I could make you a better person.
“So I tried to show her about the world and about just who we really are…”
This elusive, “one day” can’t come any sooner. But it really can’t, because it’s just one day. No date, no time, no fore-warning. “One day” will just happen. One day when I get out of here. One day when I do what I love. One day when I’m respected. One day when I’m known. One day when I have money. One day when I’m successful. One day when I’m happy.
These aren’t dreams anymore.. because they’re gonna happen, one day. I just don’t know when, and neither do you.
We are nothing in this world.. The problems and stresses that feel like the world to us, is nothing to this world. It boggles my mind how we worry about something insignificant, when things could be much worse. We make the world out of little things, when we really shouldn’t.
The biggest impression in my head is how many people are in this world. And how many have been on this world. I can’t fathom it. We hear about celebrities and we know about certain people and hear about them all the time, but they are nothing… Just think about how many great fucking people there are in this world. How many brilliant minds go overlooked everyday. How many brave people go out devoting their lives for their country.. protecting people they don’t even know. That’s unbelievable. Think about how many people are heroes everyday. Who are those people that go out to a tribe in Africa to just help? Who are those people who go out to help people who are sick and ill and starving everyday? Why don’t we know them? Why aren’t they seen? The sad thing is, is that they go unseen. So many great people have been so selfless, and so willing to give themselves to others, rather than be for themselves… and it’s unfair that they’ll never be recognized or appreciated.
Who are you to this world? Just a thought.
I’m just waiting for someone who wants to keep up with me.